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You can see all kinds of new and beautiful content related to children and naming them in this section.

Boundaries!
Boundaries!

I love my daughter with all my heart. But she joined an existing family. We didn't stop our daily lives and routines when she joined us. We won't rearrange everything in her world just so we don't have to say or teach her.


My daughter is learning to walk. It's such an adventurous time for her. She can explore all the places she's been eyeing for months now. I enjoy watching her learn and grow through this phase. It's full of laughs. It's also full of no's.
People keep telling me that I'm entering the time where I need to babyproof my house. They tell me to put everything out of reach. But I have to wonder how accurate they are in their advice to me. If I take everything out of her reach and never say no, how will she learn limits and boundaries? Everything would be accessible to her if I took all the valuables away.


I want her to learn that sometimes things are off-limits and out of reach. Then when she is older and more responsible, she can earn the privilege of touching and experiencing new things.
So I am not destroying my house. We've said a lot of no touch and seen some tears shed. But I see her starting to learn. She's learning there are many more things she is allowed to touch and reach. She's also learning to obey even when she doesn't understand why. Someday I hope this lesson will save her from painful experiences.


I love my daughter with all my heart. But she joined an existing family. We didn't stop our daily lives and routines when she joined us. We won't rearrange everything in her world just so we don't have to say or teach her no.
We will, however, enjoy watching her learn and grow. Even if that means a few tears along the way.

How to Start a Toddlers' Playgroup
How to Start a Toddlers' Playgroup

You would like to get your toddler involved with other kids, but you just don't know how. Start a playgroup. Here's how!

Your toddler is into everything, and the day feels longer than Rapunzel's hair. How do you keep your little one occupied in a constructive and fun manner? Start a toddlers' playgroup!

You don't need much in terms of materials, but you will need a space big enough to accommodate the number of children in the group. Too many children in too small of an area can lead to disaster. Ask your local church, synagogue, or community center for a two-hour slot in their building. Make certain that there are enough toys and books for the children to use.

If you need participants, advertise in your local parent's paper. Oftentimes, parents' papers offer free advertising for private groups. You might just be surprised at how many people respond to your ad. They've probably wanted to start a group themselves and didn't know how!

Organizing the playgroup can be simple if you follow a few ground rules. Always start the group in a circle with a few songs of introduction. My name is Sarah, my name is Sarah, what's your name? What's Your Name? is a great song to begin your playgroup. It helps the leader get familiar with each child's name.

Next, allow for some free play for the children. Oftentimes, the children are distracted by the unfamiliar toys in the room. Give them plenty of free time to play with the new toys and interact with the other children. There are 30 minutes for free play.

Singing a clean-up song helps teach children that it is time to put away the toys and start another activity. They also learn to help their parents clean up, instead of letting them do it by themselves! In my house, we sing before doing almost anything. "This is the way we brush our teeth, brush our teeth, brush our teeth..."

Giving the children a snack before craft time is helpful. They are more likely to participate if their tummies are full. Provide a brief, healthful snack (such as fruit or cheese). Once that is cleaned up, you can opt to do a simple craft project or read a story.

I like to emphasize literacy even in the smallest of children. Using oversized books of classics such as Good Night, Moon or Runaway Bunny is helpful with a large group of children. Make sure to ask the children questions as you read along. Even if they do not respond, your diversified tone more likely will hold their attention.

Singing songs in which the children are engaged is the most fun. Old MacDonald, Itsy Bitsy Spider, and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star are some examples. Borrow a children's songbook from your local library for other ideas.

At the end of the playgroup, you can signal that it is time to leave by singing a goodbye song, again in a circle. It helps ease the transition out of the room for toddlers who have a hard time leaving places, and it is a nice way to end a playgroup session.

Now go out there, gather your friends and their kids, and have some fun!

Welcoming Your Second Baby - The Impact on Older Siblings
Welcoming Your Second Baby - The Impact on Older Siblings

Your first child has taken so much of your love, time, attention, space in your home, and income, that parents wonder how they will ever manage more than one. Learn how to welcome your second baby in this article by a mother of three.
 
 
The impact of having a second or subsequent child is often overwhelming to parents. Your first child has taken so much of your love, time, attention, space in your home, and income, that parents wonder how they will ever manage more than one. They may perhaps wonder if they will ever be able to love a second child as much as the first. Will there be enough love for both? Will your second child be a welcome addition? If you're feeling overwhelmed, consider how your firstborn may be feeling!


Ideally, your second child will teach your first child to share and eventually provide a live-in playmate and lifelong love and companionship. He or she will also bring your firstborn down to earth a bit too! Two things parents can plan on for sure is that their second child will not be a replica of the first and you cannot predict the reception of the second by the first. So, how can parents prepare their children for the birth of a new baby?
The obvious first step is to announce that the baby's on the way. The "whens" and "hows" depend not only on the age of your child but the child's interest in the birth and age. For example, my older brother was less than amused when my father announced at the dinner table that he was going to be a big brother. I'm not surprised that he lost his appetite and went to his room to cry for a while. Larry had been the center of my parent's attention for twelve years and didn't fancy the idea of sharing them with anyone. Fortunately, he became quite fond of me, even feeding me and changing me as I got older. However, that adjustment took some time.


While you don't want to tell children too early in case you miscarry, you also don't want to wait too long to tell a child either. It may help to tell a young child when the baby is due by tying the birth to an event instead of a month or week. For example, I was expecting my son in early December and we told our daughter she'd be a big sister before Christmas. She'll be a big sister again right after kindergarten starts.
How do you prepare your children for life with a new baby? The primary rule is to keep it positive by saying things like, "You're going to be a big brother," rather than, "You're going to have a baby brother or sister". Expose your child to babies so they'll find out how much care they need and how they behave. American children don't see nearly the images of breastfeeding babies as they do bottle-feeding babies. If you choose to breastfeed, let your child see a baby nursing, if possible, so it's not a new concept to them.


Be clear with your child that the baby won't be an immediate playmate - they do little but eat sleep and cry when they come home. Point out pictures of newborns in magazines and books so they will know how a newborn looks. Also, point out older babies so that your child knows what they look like when they get older. Another fun activity is having help with getting your home ready for the new baby. Setting up the crib, getting clothes ready, and buying diapers with you lets them be a part of the preparation.


As your due date grows closer, it's time to step up your preparations for your older children. Taking your child to the site where your baby will be born can be helpful. Discuss what his or her visit to you in the hospital or birth center will be like. Explain very carefully what will happen to him or her while you are having the baby. Where will your child be staying and with whom? The more normal things are, the less difficult it will be for your child.
Let your child help you with packing your hospital bag and thinking of things to put in it. Have your child make some drawings for you and the new baby. Make a birthday cake with your child and freeze it. When you and the new baby arrive home, defrost the cake and have a small party for the baby.


Once you have given birth, remember the child is usually anxious to see you, not the baby. Greet your child without the baby in your arms. It may help to have a gift available for the older child from the baby. Take photographs of the children together. Be sure to plan the visit when your child is not hungry or tired. Let your child hold the baby. Don't be surprised if the child's attention span is brief and they are more interested in your hospital bed than the baby! Be prepared for crying or anger when it is time for your child to leave. This is normal.


Once you are home, put a hold on visitors for at least another 24 hours. This is another day for your immediate family only. Be prepared for your child to display conflicting emotions for the baby. While you are feeding the baby, let your child cuddle next to you. Other things you can do at feeding time would be play records or tapes of your child's favorite songs, let them draw or color, read to your child, or talk about pictures in a family album.
When visitors arrive, let your older child be the center of attention for a few minutes. Ask the child to unwrap presents for the baby. Let your child lead the visitors to the baby's room, help you bring the baby out, or assist with serving refreshments. Don't be surprised if your child tells your visitors how the baby gets his or her refreshments from inside Mommy's blouse!


Regression and jealousy in children are very common with a new baby in the house. Jealousy in toddlers and preschoolers may be exhibited by regression or "watch me" activities for attention. Preteens and teens may feel embarrassed that their "old" parents have reproduced. Most older kids, though, look at the baby as a joy, an amusing and lovable plaything. It's when the baby becomes a toddler and gets into their things that problems may start.


It's best to follow your older child's lead, letting the sibling relationship develop at its own pace. Don't panic if you see jealousy or regression developing, but don't ignore it either. Acknowledge their feelings, and let the child know it's okay to feel like they do. One of the best ways to deal with problem behaviors is to spend some one-on-one time with your child. Try to make some special time with your older child so that there are no interruptions. Don't try to equate fair with equal. And, don't forget time for yourself too!

Parenting the Sibling Rivals
Parenting the Sibling Rivals

The article discusses the options available to minimize sibling rivalry when a new baby is due or has arrived and an older child is involved.


PARENTING THE SIBLING RIVALS
With so many books on the market that address parenting and children, written by both experts and non-experts, you may notice that many of them suggest various degrees of spacing in terms of how many years should be between your children. However, even in this enlightened day and age, there are still folks out there who wish to allow nature to take its course, which means that the various options for spacing are t always an available consideration. The reasons offered by these authors for the spacing suggestions often center around topics like the older child's self-esteem, jealousy, the second child's depth of bonding with the parents, and sibling rivalry, among other things. With all due respect to the experts, it has been my experience that many parents today prefer to have children 18 months to two years apart, while the most common suggestion in the books is three years.

 

So are these parents posing a threat to their children's development? I seriously doubt it. Hundreds of years ago, before the advent of birth control and other preventative measures, children were often born as little as ten months apart, and they grew up to be conscientious, moral, productive citizens.
Be that as it may, no matter how far apart children in the same family are born, sibling rivalry may rear its ugly head and force parents into corrective action with their kids occasionally. And there can be a veritable plethora of reasons it happens, whether it's the personality of the children involved, favoritism shown by parents (unlikely because we love our children equally, right?), a talent that one child has over another that yields him or her extra attention, or other such environmental factors. Many parents who anxiously await their second child wring their hands in concern over the way the older child will accept the younger brother or sister. Then, they are pleasantly surprised when the older child greets the newborn baby with nothing more than cautious interest, curiosity, warm feelings, and all the semblances of love. Do you know why? Because the baby just lies there.

 

He can t do anything yet! He's a pink bundle of hunger, dirty diapers, spit-up, and, most of all, sleep. But what happens when the baby develops further and starts to become mobile? Ah, now we have a problem. All of the adult attention is no longer the sole possession of the older child. Be it for positive or negative reasons, the attention gradually disperses and is shared more evenly by the two children. What can happen? Jealousy, anger, resentment, and maybe aggression will start to appear.
Fortunately, there are ways to minimize the trauma for both children who play the roles in this scenario. Some of it can start before the baby even appears on the scene. Later, there are ways to interact with the two so that resentment is minimized and nobody is the victim.


Before the baby is born, talk to your child as much as you can about how the newborn will affect everyone in the family. The older child needs to understand that the baby will need attention, love, and tender loving care. But, this must be done without placing blame on the baby for being the reason for extra work or an inconvenience because of middle-of-the-night waking, etc... He needs to understand that this baby will be a wonderful, permanent addition to the family. He also needs to know that no matter how many children parents have, there is plenty of love for all of them! I've heard a lot of mothers say they were concerned that they would not or could not love a second child as much as the first, but it's amazing how they always do. How can we not?


When the time comes to put up the cradle, pull out baby clothes, and set up the nursery, be sure to involve the older child as much as possible, explaining all the while what you're doing for your family. Even washing the little sleepers and bottles can include your older child. He will love feeling needed and important. Times like this can foster some great conversations between child and parent. If any transitions need to be made, for example, moving the child to a big bed, do so before the baby comes so that he wo t feel displaced by the newcomer. And bear in mind, that if potty training coincides with the birth of the baby, chances are good that you will see some regression in terms of progress. It's to be expected, as the child's environment will be changing a good deal. But, if you keep the conversation flowing about the pending events, your child will be that much more secure in his place in the family. He must always be reassured of his role and of the love that you have for him, regardless of any extra circumstances! This is also important once the baby arrives and also has a place in the family.


Let's fast-forward into the future for a few months. Your baby is growing and changing every day, and one day he starts accomplishing huge feats such as rolling over, and creeping, and eventually crawling! Everyone is amazed and thrilled to see the developments the baby is making. Everyone except for your older child. Now, not every older sibling will feel resentment when the baby begins to show more autonomy, but it can happen. If it does, you may see some signs of resentment and jealousy. It's always hard to deal with two children that are at odds with each other because naturally, we don t want to show favoritism or defend one over the other, but there are some good guidelines to follow when this occurs.


First of all, the baby must be protected if the older child does get physically aggressive in his demands for control. That's obvious to us all. Secondly, however, the older child should not be made to feel guilty over this very natural show of emotion. When things get ugly between the two children, it's important to have a gentle conversation with the older child and let him express how he feels. But, he must understand that hurting the baby is unacceptable and that you will not tolerate it. You can ask him how he would feel if someone did that to him. Oftentimes, this kind of questioning helps a child to learn to look at life from someone else's perspective....a good life lesson! Thirdly, limit your intervention during these problem moments to only when you need to get involved. Involving yourself too often may send a message that you are inadvertently assigning the personalities of aggressor and victim, resulting in the children falling into those roles down the line.

Just remember that the feelings, behaviors, and reactions are natural and that, even though not all parents encounter these circumstances with their kids, it is not uncommon for an older child to feel that he has been removed from his important position in the family.
Here's a little checklist of things you might try to prepare an older sibling for a new baby:
Most of us have a friend or two with a small baby at some time or another. See if you can take your child to visit their home and see how the baby fits into the family. This is a good time for your child to see the kind of gentle attention that babies should receive. If no baby is available, use a doll to portray how the new sibling will need the child's love and help. Emphasize that the baby will look up to the child because he is bigger and can teach the baby some things.


Show him pictures of yourself when you were pregnant with him.
Explain what will happen while you are in the hospital, on a level that he can understand.
Plan to call him at home while you are there to show that you are thinking of and love him. When the baby comes, have a gift for the older child from the baby.
Put the child's picture inside the baby's cradle so he knows which one is his baby!
When you pack a diaper bag for the baby, ask if there's anything special that the older child would like to put in there, too, whether for himself or the baby.


Try to get the child to act out his feelings with dolls or puppets so that you can get an idea of how he feels. You can then respond accordingly with tenderness and love.
It can be very hard to try to juggle your time with a newborn in the house, especially when an older child still needs and deserves time with you. But just remember, you are only one person, and all anyone can ask of you is your best. And would you want to give your children anything less? Lastly, enjoy the time with them. It goes so fast! - Mia Cronan

Five Easy Steps To Potty Train Your Baby
Five Easy Steps To Potty Train Your Baby

No Don't let your child pee or poop everywhere and make your life miserable. Try to potty train your child since baby. Starting from a newborn is not a bad idea. Some moms say the sooner you potty train your baby the better you find the result. Thus, parents who will let nature take its course will find that it will take a very long time for their child to be dry at night. But it is also understood if parents feel that their baby is not ready for potty training.


Potty training is a learning process, so you and your child should all be ready. Your child has to understand what you want and then has to learn how to do it.


1.    Those who succeeded in potty training since the baby said they started by wearing their baby a clothes diaper. It saves so much money since you don't need to use expensive disposable diapers. Cloth diapers are made of an absorbent material, such as cotton. Cotton is the best natural fiber for absorbency.
When the cotton fibers come in contact with a liquid, each fiber will absorb as much liquid as it can hold, then pass the remaining liquid to the next dry fiber until all the liquid is absorbed. Baby who wear clothes will feel uncomfortable and wet feeling and the knowledge that they can prevent it. Most babies will wake up dry in the morning at several months of age, demonstrating that they are physically able to "hold it".


2.    The second step is to make your baby understand more about his body. It's only natural during this development stage that your child notices the parts of his body. He may be able to name some parts like his eyes and feet.
He knows his eyes see. He knows his feet walk. Now, he's beginning to know what the beginning of a bowel movement or bladder feels like. Since that he realizes what happened to his body and why he needs to go to the bathroom, he will understand that potty training is important. By that time, it will be easier for you to do potty training.


3.    After your baby gets bigger take him into the bathroom when you go.
That way, they know what's going on in there. Talk to them about what toilets are for. If you are a woman at home all day with boy children, encourage Daddy to show them how it's done.


4.    For the continuity of potty training, buy 3 or 4 of those cheap little molded plastic potties and put them around the house. At least, one in each bathroom and one in the kitchen or the room where you spend the most time with your child. Stick a towel underneath for the sake of your carpet if said child is a boy.


5.    Last but not least, always give your baby appreciation for what he/she has done.
One popular method is to give stickers and a calendar to keep track of his/her successes. Every time he/she goes to the potty, your baby gets a sticker that he can then paste onto the page.
If your child starts to lose interest but is well into toilet training, you may want to consider offering other rewards.

500 Seconds to - Focusing on Mealtimes
500 Seconds to - Focusing on Mealtimes

Does your child rule the roost when it comes to mealtimes? Read this tried and tested formula for sanity and happy tummies...
In truth, I think I owe most of my success here to 2 small toys! Believe it or not, both survived three consecutive children! One was a clear plastic dome on a stick with an interesting light-catcher object inside it, the other was a stick with a screw head and 3 arms with things to turn, beep and click. Both had a big sucker attachment for the highchair table.


Babies have an amazing capacity to understand the routine. Even with their limited communication skills, they often respond to it with contentment. Remember back to those early days with the sequence of a nappy change followed by a feed? By getting them used to a set of circumstances, that ends up in a contented tummy, you should be able to make food and drink time a more enjoyable experience for all concerned.


There really should be just one place to eat and drink. Their highchair. Consider the money you will save on cleaning products alone, not scrubbing butter and juice from your sofas and carpets! Not to mention the embarrassment at a friend's house, when they smear the contents of their hands on someone ELSES sofa and carpet!
Start right at the beginning and you will be able to transport this good habit anywhere. Remove the stress and fear of going to a friend's or relative's house if it crosses the baby's mealtime! All you need is determination, a conviction in what you are doing, and one or two small sucker toys.


Here we go.
Keep mealtimes regular. They benefit and you keep a good handle on how their feeding routine is going.
Make sure they have a clean bottom before they sit down, making them less likely to wiggle around.
Feed them, feed you! Always eat or drink with the baby. They are incredible copycats. This is also great advice for any new mum! We all need a little top-up top-up energy throw throughout the day. Healthy snacks are great for you both, but the odd cup of tea and a biscuit won't hurt either!


Turn the TV off before they come in the room “A rAio is fine. Put them in the chair, secure them in, pop their bib on, and stick on their toy. TV is an utter distraction “You want them to focus on their forthcoming food! Plus, all things being well with your timing, hunger should soon take over anyway.
Show them the last part of preparing the meal/drink and talk to them about what they have got coming up with excitement! Smiles breed smiles. If you are turning your nose up and making a face, saying, I'm not sure you are going to like this, I don't blame you, it's not very exciting, and it's a good guess they may do the same!
Serve up and immediately remove and hide the toy. Sit down in front of each other at the table and have your snack or drink. Enjoy it together!


This is THE place for food and drinks. If you cut out all other distractions, that is what they learn happens when they sit there! Once you start to placate them with toys, crayons, or TV, you soon create a situation where they will only eat when they have those other elements.
All new situations take a while to kick in. There may well be tears and tantrums. You might need to persevere with this for a week if you have been doing it another way before now, but with determination, self-belief, and respect for your own self-preservation, you WILL get through it!


Cut the section out below and tape it to the fridge or cupboard. The whole household needs to be singing from the same hymnbook on this and it's a great (and polite) reminder for dads and grandparents too.
If it all goes wrong. well, look at the worst possible situation. Food is thrown flying, all hell breaks loose, screams and tears¦..think about it. Can you afford this each mealtime? Stay with it. Be strong and confident. They will be a little hungrier the next time you start the routine! You have to keep charge of the situation or they soon work out they can rule the roost. They will eventually come around to a new way of approaching a mealtime that is happier for everyone.


In brief
1. Start with a clean-bottomed baby!


2. Turn the TV off, pop them in the highchair, strap in, and bib on.


3. Give them their toy as you finish preparing their food/drink.


4. Keep it to a few minutes and wait before their food/drink arrives.


5. Remove and hide the toy as the food/drink is served.


6. Sit at the table and eat/drink together and enjoy the focus!


7. Monkey see, monkey do!

8. Share your food - let them experience new tastes and textures.


9. Don't pander to a set of demands to ensure the food is eaten.


10. Focus your child on the meal in question. Stay sane!

Baby, Talk!
Baby, Talk!

Communicating articulately may be key for your job, but something strange happens when you have children.
I can't seem to get it right. Living with two small children and caring for them all day on my own has had its impact. It certainly has impacted the way I communicate. Before kids, I tended to speak softly, almost lilting as if I had all day to say what had to be said. After kid, I developed an ability to shout out orders that would make any marine shake in his boots. Consider a recent episode in our foyer.


We're leaving for the library soon. Get on your shoes, please, I said politely to my four-year-old daughter, hoping some of it would rub off on her rather whiny tenor.
She pretended not to listen and kept dressing her doll.
Kara, get your shoes on now, please, I repeated, this time more firmly. The doll had her underpants and hat on, but no dress. Kara continued to rummage through her doll suitcase for just the right thing to put on it.
Get your shoes on now, OR WE AREN'T GOING!!! I barked. Kara sighed, got up, and went for her pattern leathers.


Belting out commands is not the only thing I have perfected since becoming a mother. I have also managed to lose the ability to speak appropriately to adults. The other day I treated the vegetable farmer like a two-year-old because I couldn't switch gears fast enough. I had just admonished my two-year-old son not to eat rocks. When it was my turn to be served, I approached the stand and said with exaggerated patience,
I want a pound of carrots, now!!! The farmer glanced down at me from his wooden pallet and seemed to wonder if I were talking to him. He eventually lifted a pile of green-topped vegetables and placed them on his scale.


Eating dirt is not the only thing my two-year-old son likes to do. He likes to jump, a lot. But even here, I haven't found a way to effectively tell him not to do it on various pieces of furniture in our house.
Dump, dump, Mama! he squeals as he hurls himself from the footboard onto our mattresses every morning. It has become a ritual of sorts, so I've just stopped making the bed. There is no use when dump-dump just has to happen. But when it comes to safety, I have my limits.
Jason managed to push a chair over to the dresser and climb on top of it. With my heart in my throat, I approached him with caution.


I realize you think you are invincible, and who am I to thwart that belief? But there's a certain level of safety that we need to maintain in the house. So, no, you cannot jump from the dresser to the bed.
My two-year-old blinked at me, smiled widely, and did it anyway. Perhaps I should talk to him in easier terms and with fewer words. Or maybe I should stop speaking altogether and just start eating rocks.

Tantrums and Toddlers!
Tantrums and Toddlers!

Tantrums - one of our least favorite things about parenting. What can you do?

I was in the grocery, knew I was approaching the toy aisle, and braced myself. Adam was sitting happily in the grocery cart, but I knew what was coming: a tantrum!

I knew he was tired and hungry “This was an emergency run to the grocery. I knew I was tired and hungry, too. Adam and I were not at our coping best. The last thing I wanted was a meltdown.

WHAT TO DO?

Use my grandmother/coaching skills when the tantrum started. Talk to him about what he was feeling. Use it as a lesson in emotional intelligence “ frustration tolerance and self-management.

I did what any sane grandmother would do:

· 

I avoided the aisle completely.

· 

I got out of the store as fast as I could.

· 

As soon as I'd paid for them, I gave him a Capri drink and a little box of raisins, and gave myself some too!

· 

I kept calm and talked in a soothing voice.

It was 6 p.m., and he was a little time bomb waiting to go off. Nor was I at my best.

TANTRUMS

Tantrums are an inconvenient part of life with toddlers, and the best defense is a good offense: Avoid the circumstances that provoke them.

Management depends upon your emotional intelligence because a toddler doesn't have any! They're still pretty basic -- they lack the vocabulary to express themselves in words, they cannot cope with delayed gratification, and they have zero self-awareness.

You'll be teaching all these things later on, but developmentally, they aren't capable yet. It's up to you to avoid provocative situations as best you can, especially when your toddler is already tired, hungry, or stressed.

DISTRACTION

Toddlers are also still fairly easy to distract, and sometimes that's the best course of action. They're just learning object permanence. In other words, if they're screaming for something (a candy bar they see) and you can remove it, it can be a case of out of sight, out of mind. Do it now, because it won't work much longer!

Like if he's in his high chair, whisk the candy bar away, grab a utensil, and start tapping out the rhythm of one of his favorite songs, sing, and making faces. Sometimes it works!

My friend, Becky, sings a special soothing song at such times. It's become conditioned with her daughter. She starts to calm down.

THE TANTRUM IN-PUBLIC

Every parent's least favorite happening. What to do?

“ Remember, you're not a bad parent. Toddlers R Tantrums.

 “ Reasoning with them won't do much good and will waste your energy.

 “ You don't need to get angry yourself, or punitive. This won't stop the tantrum, but it will doubly stress you. It can make the tantrum worse.

 “ Don't ˜catch the infection' - Your child feels out-of-control when she's angry, and looks to you NOT to be.

 “ Leave the situation if you can. Give up and go home, or at least leave the immediate scene “ i.e., if they're screaming in the movie theater, take them out to the lobby. A "change of scene sometimes works. Also, it's courteous to those around you. I found leaving a store and going outside was sometimes calming, and we could return. Was it the fresh air?

 “ When the worst of the meltdown is over, be reassuring, because to get that angry is scary for the child.

 “ Cushion the blow in some way, but stick to the rules. i.e., if the tantrum was over leaving the birthday party, you still must leave, yes, but tell her you know how sad/angry she is to have to leave, So let's watch her favorite Video' when we get home.

You may feel like you're giving up or giving in when you avoid situations that stress your toddler, but that's an emotionally intelligent thing to do.

And don't be unduly concerned about what others are thinking. We watch because a child's cries are designed to tug at our heartstrings. Most people's reactions will be concerned, and also being glad it isn't them this time!

FRUSTRATION

We're humans, we want things, we have emotions. When you're on a diet, do you go to Baskin-Robbins and sit at a table and watch other people eat ice cream? If you're married, would you subject yourself to a private outing with an attractive member of the opposite sex? If you're broke, would you go window-shopping at the most expensive clothes store in town? No, no, and no. It would be torture.

We don't subject ourselves to temptations that frustrate us when we can't help it. You can anticipate what will frustrate your toddler, and act accordingly. There's nothing wrong with getting a sitter and going to the toy store by yourself. It's emotionally intelligent!

Wise parents and grandparents toddler-proof the house to keep down frustrations. You'll still have to manage not playing in the toilet, not eating the dog food, not pulling the cat's tail, and not punching little sister ¦ so why not remove the crystal dish on the coffee table, and the glass floral arrangement in the bedroom for a couple of months and give yourself a break?

P.S. The Terrible Twos don't last forever.

Recommended reading:

 First Feelings: Milestones in the Emotional Development of Your Baby and Child, by I. Stanley Greenspan, M.D. and Nancy Greenspan.

Activities for Toddlers
Activities for Toddlers

Your toddlers will love these inexpensive activity ideas.
Toddlers constantly see advertisements for games and toys on TV that convince them that these are the items needed to be happy. The reality is that these commercials are teaching your toddlers at an early age that they need objects to make them happy. This is simply not true!


Parents and caretakers often feel that in order to make the kids happy they must buy these toys for them. But then after the toys are bought; the toys are thrown into dusty corners and ignored.


The best thing a parent can give to their toddler is not toys, but rather quality time with their children. The good news is that there are ways to spend quality time with your toddler that don't include spending a lot of money or accumulating junk. Here is a list of great activities you can do with your toddler without reaching for your pocketbook, because memories last ­ stuff doesn't:


1. Use chalk and draw a scenic picture outside on the driveway or sidewalk.


2. Create Sidewalk Paint by crunching up chalk pieces and mixing them with water. By using paintbrushes your children can now "paint" outside on the sidewalk or driveway instead of drawing.


3. Have a picnic. Let your child help pack your picnic basket. Bring along a Frisbee or a ball to play with. You could even play hide n' go seek with your toddler. You don't even have to leave your own backyard.


4. Read a picture book.


5. Cut pictures out of magazines and put them in a folder. Then during "sleepy" moments (such as before or after a nap) look at these pictures with your child and discuss them.


6. Fold clothes together! For your toddler, this activity can be super fun! Granted it will take some patience on your part to allow your toddler to help. You can even have your child "help" by bringing the folded clothes to the appropriate room or by teaching them how to fold a washcloth. (One suggestion: Get a Big Toy Dump truck and allow them to place clothes in it & "drive" the clothes to the appropriate room. This can be great fun!)


7. Buy a paint with water book for your children. Use Q-tips and cups of water to color your favorite pictures.


8. Play "Roll the Ball!" Roll a ball to your toddler and have your toddler roll it back.


9. Make a card or letter with your toddler and mail it to their favorite friend or relative. They will be excited as they wait to hear back!


10. Make up a simple story with your toddler. Take turns making up the story.
The entertainment never has been expensive. Many large corporations would like us to think that entertainment is expensive & they condition us to think this, but in actuality what toddlers want is to know their parents care about them. Many toddlers are no longer learning how to use their imagination because the media does it for them. Video games have replaced pretending with high-paced action.
These ideas above can spark creativity in your toddler without spending extra money!

How to Handle Your Child's Tantrums
How to Handle Your Child's Tantrums

      
 Oh gosh ... he's at it again! Wailing and crying for God knows what reason.
Do you have a problem with your child's tantrums? Here's a quick guide on how to handle them during
 those stressful moments.
 
 Why Do Children Throw Tantrums?
 Studies have shown that when children throw tantrums, they
 do not mean to be rude or manipulative on purpose. At their
 age, toddlers are just beginning to understand a lot more of
 the words they hear. However, given their limited vocal
 skills, they can't communicate easily. And when your child
 can't express how he feels frustration mounts.
 
 How Should I React?
 Ok, the most important rule is ... don't lose your cool. Repeat
 ... don't lose your cool. He or she may be making a huge
 scene in public, embarrassing you in front of the
 in-laws, it doesn't matter. Just grit your teeth and bear
 with it. My suggestion is to just sit down and be with your
 child while he or she rages.
 
 I know it's tough - particularly in public. Just try to stop
 thinking about what others think, any parent out there would
 understand the situation. Do not concede and give in. If you
 concede, you will be teaching your child that throwing a
 tantrum will allow him or her to get what they want.
 
 If, however, your child gets to the point where they start
 hitting people or throwing things, just pick him up and
 carry him to a safe place, such as his bedroom. Explain in a
 firm voice why he's there (e.g. "Because you hit Grandma").
 
 Preventive Measures
 Taking preventive measures also works. If you know your kid
 gets frustrated when hungry, carry snacks along with you. If
 you're going from one place to the next, alert your child
 and let him know (e.g. "After you finish your storybook,
 we're going for dinner").
 
 If all else fails, do consult your pediatrician who can give
 expert advice on your child's tantrums and check if there
 are any physical or psychological problems.

10 Terrific Toddler Tips
10 Terrific Toddler Tips

10 practical tips for successfully parenting babies and toddlers.
The earliest years of your child's life are full of excitement, discovery, and learning. Each behavior, and the parent's reaction to that behavior, teach your child something new. Think of your new baby as a crisp, white canvas; and you are holding a palette covered with all the colors of the rainbow. How you choose to begin your painting will determine the finished masterpiece. Each stroke tells a story, becomes a memory, and encourages or discourages a behavior.


1 - Don't wait until your baby becomes a Toddler to begin planning the direction of your brushstrokes. From birth, your child is watching you and learning. Every move and every sound becomes part of his experience. It's never too late to modify behavior. Just remember that it's more difficult and takes more time to change behavior once it's been learned.


2 - Babies need lots of love and attention, but offering attention only when your child cries is only going to result in more crying. Spend as much time as possible with your baby during the day giving age-appropriate attention (holding and singing to your baby, playing simple games, etc.). Reward positive behavior and discourage negative behavior. If your child wakes from a nap and you hear him stirring, remove him before he begins to cry. Waiting until the child cries ensures that he will cry sooner than the next time. If he's already begun to cry, wait outside the door for a moment until there's a "lull", then enter. Your child will perceive that you entered during a quiet moment. There are times when a child is hysterical and you won't wait, and that's okay. Just use your best judgment.


3 - It's interesting to watch how new parents and parents with several children react to similar situations. Watch kids at a playground, inevitably someone will get sand in their eye, trip over a bucket, or scrape a knee. Many first-time parents react strongly; twisting their faces into surprise and horror, and running a marathon sprint to scoop the child from danger. Experienced parents react in a completely different way. Have you ever noticed that often a child won't cry until he looks up and sees his mother's face? If you can remain calm, chances are your child will stay calm too. The benefits are twofold. First, you will have less hysterics after the inevitable bump and bruise. Second, you'll know by your child's reaction when he is hurt.


4 - Any parent who has had a whiny child knows that nothing racks the nerves more than a constant high-pitched whine. When my first son was a toddler, we used to joke that we lived in a fire station. We never knew when the next "emergency" would hit and the alarm would sound. One day, I decided to try something new. Instead of pandering to my little fire alarm by rushing frantically to find out what he wanted, I kneeled right down, looked him in the eye, and said, "Devon, Mommy's ears don't hear that voice. When you use your nice voice, Mommy will listen." I'd like to say it worked right away, but it didn't. However, once I turned my back and he realized I wasn't paying attention to him, the whining stopped. After a few weeks, the whining ceased altogether.


5 - Time out's are very important. They should not be viewed as punishment, but rather as a treatment for the symptoms of negative behavior. A time-out is simply removing your child from the stimulus that is affecting his behavior negatively. For a cranky baby at a party, this can mean moving temporarily to a quieter room. You may find that for a two-year-old, moving to another room, simply explaining the reason, and holding him in your arms for a short period works well. If you have an older toddler who is exhibiting negative behavior, try removing him from the situation, holding him snugly, and explaining how you want his behavior to change. Most kids don't want to be "restricted", so I find this works wonders as a temporary behavior modification.


6 - Don't skip nap time. Children do need their sleep, and any change in routine is likely to result in unwanted behavior. Try to plan grocery shopping, visits with friends, and trips around your child's schedule. Recognizing that you and your child will suffer if you drastically alter his schedule is an important step toward understanding him and his needs.


7 - Shopping with toddlers. I realized early on that kids recognize at a young age that what is in the shopping basket when you reach the counter, goes home with you. It's very tempting to buy your child a small toy, book, or candy each time you go to the store. This keeps him happy, temporarily. It also rewards him for begging, just in the way a puppy fed scraps from a table learns that the bigger fuss he makes, the more food he's going to get. Try a new strategy, buy small items on occasion when your child isn't with you, then surprise him periodically with a small gift. Once he learns that he still receives the occasional new toy or book, but doesn't get it directly from the store, your shopping trips will be much easier. Do allow your child to help you shop. Ask him to help with simple things, point to the milk, pick the best batch of bananas, etc.


8 - Don't forget to praise positive behavior. Parents are often so relieved when their toddler is playing quietly, that they don't want to disturb the peace by intervening. However, this is the perfect time to sit and play with your child, and tell him how happy you are that he's playing so nicely with his toys. Remember that to a small child, attention is attention. Particularly if you are very busy during the day, or he shares attention with a group of other kids, he needs on one attention from you. If he doesn't get it when he plays quietly, he'll be much more likely to act out to get your attention. Negative attention is still attention in a child's eyes.


9 - Keep the rules simple and consistent. As I described earlier, your child is just waiting for you to color his world. Children can begin to learn rules such as picking up toys and talking quietly at the table very early. Try to make rules fun if possible, but be consistent. Insist that the toys already on the floor are picked up before he takes more toys out of the box. Model the behavior you want your child to pick up, such as putting the newspaper in the appropriate place before you choose a book to read. Verbalize your actions, "Mommy is putting away the newspaper so she can get her book out, can you put away your truck before you play with the crayons?"


10 - Relax. Enjoy this time, and enjoy the parenting experience. Realize that everyone has their ideas of how to parent, and you do need to find your way. Remember that humans have been successfully parenting for many thousands of years without the benefit of child psychologists, books on parenting, and age charts describing when your child should eat solid foods, sit up, walk, and talk. Just as all parents are different, so are children. They will reach milestones when it's their time. Treasure your little gifts, for there is no more important, or rewarding job than raising the next generation.

Living with pets- keeping your baby safe
Living with pets- keeping your baby safe

So, up to this point, your dog or cat has been your baby, but now there's a little human on the way. It is normal and, in fact, wise to be concerned about how the two are going to mix. The chances are very good that everything will work quite well The chances are very good that everything will work quite well and your pet and your child will be very close buddies, but there are some things you can do to be prepared.

First some tips for dogs:
Teach your dog to stay out of the nursery Start right away by putting up a baby gate or keeping the door closed to help your dog learn to stay out of the baby's room. Later on, you can allow the dog in the room, especially if you are in there, but it's best to prepare him at first to stay away.
Introduce your dog to some other babies If he's never been around a baby, carefully introduce some into his life. He is much less likely to be anxious around your baby if he is introduced gradually.
Make sure he is well trained A baby's behavior is not predictable, so your dog has to be the grown-up in this case. If your dog does not obey you, it's time for some training before the baby arrives. If your dog is a male, and you haven't had him neutered, this is a good time for that, too. It should make the dog calmer and more well-mannered.


Then, there's the cat '“ some of the same ideas work for cats, too, except that training them to stay out of a room is pretty difficult. They scale baby gates, and cribs, by the way with ease. So, in addition to a baby gate, it's wise to purchase a net to go over the crib, to keep the cat out. Also, if your cat sleeps with you, don't put the baby in your bed with the cat in the room. For both types of pets, keep the food and water bowl away from the baby. Babies love to play in them, and this can not only make a mess but can cause the animal to be even more jealous. Also, at some point, if your child can get to the pet food, he will try to eat it. I promise.
Your child and your pets should develop a good relationship with little trouble. Just be diligent for a while until everybody is comfortable, and you should continue to have a happy home.

Your Baby Nursery
Your Baby Nursery

Where you live will probably dictate whether a baby nursery is the norm, and your budget and living accommodation will influence whether you are able to follow that norm or tradition and supply your new baby with a separate nursery.
 
A baby nursery, or separate bedroom for a newborn, is not the usual practice in many countries. My children by my first marriage were brought up in England, where a baby, on being taken home from hospital, will go home to a separate bedroom or nursery. My young daughter, Saffron, was born here in the Philippines where the tradition is for babies to sleep with their parents.
 
 It can be a difficult choice for new parents: do we put our new baby in her own nursery room, or do we have her in our bedroom in a crib or even in our bed? There are conflicting opinions about this choice, and it is one that attracted quite a lot of comment and surprise here when we opted to put Saffron in her own crib in her own nursery room, the day she came home from the baby clinic.
 
 I was very firm in my own mind that a separate room is best in the long term, and therefore it is best in the beginning. A baby, and then child, will grow in accordance with what they are used to, and what they come to see and feel as the norm.
 
 The most important things for a baby are that :
 
 1. They are fed well;
 
 2. They are kept clean;
 
 3. They are comfortable;
  
4. They feel secure knowing that the parents, especially the mother, will be there when she wakes.
 
 5. They are loved.
 
 All of those things are easily achievable in a baby nursery separate from the parent's room. 
  
Advantages Of A Separate Baby Nursery
 
 A separate baby nursery brings with it a number of important advantages, for the baby and the parents. These include:
 
 1. The baby will sleep undisturbed by parents coming and going. As they get older, that will be particularly important in the evening and night.
 
 2. The parents will have their own privacy and time for themselves. This will be more and more appreciated as the weeks, months and then years pass.
 
 3. The parents will sleep better too, especially compared to those who have a baby in their own bed.
 
 4. The baby is more likely to grow into a strong and independent child, with a large amount of confidence. So long as they are happy and secure, they will not be worried about sleeping alone, as this is what they have come to expect. They know that when they wake, their mother and father are close to hand.
 
 Disadvantages Of A Separate Baby Nursery
 
 I cannot think of one genuine disadvantage of a separate baby nursery, assuming that the room is within earshot. A baby at birth can cry quite loudly, and why should that be if the natural state is always for the mother to be at their side? A baby cries so the mother can hear from a distance. If that distance is another bedroom nearby, then that is fine. The baby will be unconcerned if it cries and you appear through a door rather than at her side already.
 
 Some first-time parents will worry that they will not hear the baby if they are asleep and she is in a separate room. There is no need to worry; the mother especially will be tuned in to the cry of the baby and will be subconsciously alert to the slightest sound. My wife was concerned about this very thing when Saffron was born, so for her assurance, we left our bedroom door open, and Saffron's door too. She soon realized there was no risk of not hearing the baby, so first Saffron's door, and then our door, were later kept closed at night.
 
 Always remember, babies cry to be heard, so unless you are both very heavy sleepers, there is very little chance of you not hearing the baby when she is hungry, needs changing, or has some other problem.

When Should I Stop Swaddling My Baby?
When Should I Stop Swaddling My Baby?

Swaddling is one of those great things that we learn when we are still in the hospital with our babies and we'll continue doing it as long as it works. Swaddling helps both mom and baby get more rest, it helps baby feel safe and secure, keeps baby warm, and may even help when a baby is suffering from colic. Swaddling is an art form, and it's been used for so long because it works with more babies than not. So, when do you have to give it up? Is there a time when you should stop swaddling your child?
 
 During the first weeks of life, your child will likely feel more comfortable when they are swaddled because they'll stay warm, he or she will feel secure, and they won't scare themselves with startle reflexes. But, after about a month or so you should consider cutting back on the amount of time that your child is swaddled. Swaddling at night is still fine at this point or any time during sleep, but during the waking hours, your baby should be free to experience the world through touch. Babies at this age often start to reach out toward things; they can feel the skin of their parents, the softness of their blankets, and just about everything else in their environment. Babies at this age learn through touch, and it's important that they are able to do so.
 
 A baby that is swaddled can actually be kept from advancing developmentally because of their immobility. While most children will wiggle their way out of the swaddle at this age, they should feel free to move about and start experiencing the world around them. The more your child is able to move around, the more he or she will develop, and the mobility process is already beginning! At just one month of age, your baby is learning how to move and control his or her body so in just a few more months crawling and then walking will be a possibility.
 
 Babies over one month of age will usually tell their parents through movements or crying that they do not like to be swaddled anymore, so the swaddling usually stops naturally. But, if your baby still likes to be swaddled you need to unwrap him or her during their waking hours so they can begin to move about. The baby that doesn't want out of the swaddling around this age is few and far between, but it does happen. Some babies are just very content to be wrapped and snuggly, but it's important for them to begin to learn about the world around them. The only way for this to happen is through movement, and that can't happen when your baby is swaddled.

Homemade Baby Shower Invitations
Homemade Baby Shower Invitations

Homemade baby shower invitations can make your baby shower entertaining, full of fun, and a truly memorable experience. It is a perfect way to give a personal touch to a great occasion.


Homemade baby shower invitations reflect the personality of the expectant mother and can bring an element of warmth to your party. Homemade baby shower invitations simply give your guests an idea of what kind of gifts to take to the baby shower party. These are less expensive and more valuable than store-bought invitations.
You can get materials for the creation of homemade baby shower invitations from retail shops. These materials include paper styles, font colors, baby shower invitation wordings, and matching accessories such as thank-you notes, envelopes, stickers, fun stamps, and baby birth announcements.


Selecting a baby shower theme is the first step in preparing homemade baby shower invitations. Choose a theme that is pleasing to the eye in style and design. Select stamps that are fit for your theme. Also, choose appropriate colors. You can select pink for girls, dark colors for boys, and green or yellow for babies yet unknown. The wording of your invitation should include the name of the new mother or baby and, the date, time, and location of the event. You can also draw a map of the location for out-of-town guests; include a phone number and email address. You may do this manually at home or get them printed at a local printer.


To get a quality finishing touch to your homemade baby shower invitation, use wax seals with initials. Always use high-quality products for the creation of homemade invitations. Homemade baby shower invitations are always treasured by everyone. They can be wonderful, provided you have some creativity and a little time to spend.


Baby Shower Invitations provides detailed information on Baby Shower Invitations, Printable Baby Shower Invitations, Free Baby Shower Invitations, Baby Shower Invitation Wording, and more. Baby Shower Invitations is affiliated with Baby Shower Decorations. 

Getting your baby on a sleeping routine
Getting your baby on a sleeping routine

It's not unusual for newborns to have unusual sleeping habits, particularly for them to want to sleep during the day and stay awake at night. Remember, in the womb it's dark all the time, so night and day mean nothing to them. If your baby's sleeping habits need some adjustment, here are some ways to get him on track.


Don't keep quiet during the day when he's sleeping When he sleeps during the day (and all babies will) leave the door to his room open, and go about your normal daily routine. Keep the television or stereo on. This will accomplish two things. First, he will learn to sleep even through noise, which is important, since this child will be taking naps in your home for four or five years. Secondly, he will get the idea that the daytime is not the right time for long periods of sleep.

 If he sleeps more than three hours at a stretch, wake him. Babies should nap during the day, of course, but more than three hours is not a nap. To get him awake, try holding him upright and tickling his feet. If that doesn't work, take off his shirt. The chill will wake him. Don't leave him uncovered for long, though. Once he is awake, sing or talk to him to keep him that way for a while. This is a great time to put him on a mat for some tummy time if it's not feeding time.


Now, of course, the second half of this problem is staying awake at night. This is going to take some time, and babies usually make some significant adjustments within about three weeks, though you will be getting up for feedings at least once at night for a bit longer. Some things you can do to make him more likely to sleep longer and better during the night are:
 Put him in a bassinet or cradle for the first few weeks. A crib can seem huge to a newborn, so you might find that he sleeps much better in the coziness of a smaller space. 


Give him some soothing sounds. Not only will this act as a sort of white noise to block out other sounds, but it will also be soothing to him. Soft, classical music works well, but so can the constant hum of a fan.  Keep the room at a comfortable temperature. If he's too cold or too warm, just like the rest of us, he won't sleep as well.  Establishing a routine. Your child will sleep better if he has an established sleeping routine for day and night. Put him down for naps at the same time each day, and put him down for bed at the same time each night. Create some bedtime habits that will signal to the baby that bedtime is near. A bath or a story can be a nice way to wind down and get ready for restful sleep.


Sleeping habits are a challenge for most new mothers, primarily because you're so tired yourself. One word of advice don't try to make baby sleep at night by not allowing him to nap during the day. It will backfire. Babies need lots of sleep, and naps are a critical part of this. Just don't let him sleep for too long at a stretch during the day. Give it some time, and take some naps yourself, and before you know it, everyone will be sleeping soundly through the night.

How to deal with a baby that has colic
How to deal with a baby that has colic

Colitis is still a mystery to Doctors. They still do not know what causes colic in babies. They will tell you that there is no known cure for colic. I have always heard of colic and heard from mothers who have dealt with this problem. I had never had to deal with a colicky baby until my fourth child Nicholas was born. Colic is hard not just for the mother, it is hard on the whole family.


There is no tried and true method to dealing with a baby who has colic. A crying baby is the hardest thing a parent has to deal with. The crying will stop eventually. There are some things that you can do to help with these crying spells your baby is going through. Here are some things you can try that I have found that work with my son Nicholas.


1) Try walking with your baby. This can be tiresome, but it may be the only thing that works for your baby. Hold your baby with his/her tummy against your tummy. My son tends to have gas while he is screaming, and I have found that this helps with his gas, as well as his crying. Sometimes he even stops crying for a little while.


2) Push your baby in a stroller. Sometimes this helps with my son. Take a short walk and see if it helps your baby to stop crying. It may not work, but it's worth a try anyway.


3) Rock your baby. I have a rocking chair in my baby's bedroom, and when I rock him he stops crying and most of the time falls asleep. I think it is the closeness he feels when I rock him.


4) Put your baby in his/her car seat and take a drive somewhere. I have done this many times. This option may not be an option if you do not have a car, or it could become a habit. Look at it this way: which would you rather do; hear a screaming baby, or drive for a while?


5)I have not tried this and do not recommend this unless the baby is supervised by an adult. Many mothers I have talked to say this worked for them. Place your child in his/her car seat on top of the dishwasher or washing machine and turn it on for a cycle or two.


6) Try singing to your child, or turning a radio or a TV on to music. It may or may not stop your baby from crying, but it could calm him/her down a little bit. My son calms down when I put country music on.
7) Have your spouse take the baby for a while. If you are the only person your baby will let hold him/her, try to away for a little while. Have a friend or relative help by watching your child for you.
Make sure you get some sleep whenever possible. I often have my sister come to my house and watch my kids while I take a nap. This way you won't be so tired when dealing with a screaming baby all night. My husband also takes the baby when he does not have to go to work. It helps when you are not so tired.


Remember the crying will not last forever. Even if nothing works for you, there is an end insight. Before you know it all the crying that your baby has done will be replaced with smiling, and gurgling, and he/she will be a happy baby. My son is now 3 months old and he is not crying as much as he did two weeks ago.
If you feel you could use some support in dealing with your colicky baby. here is an online support group for parents, family & friends of colicky babies.

Is It Time to Cut the Umbilical Cord?
Is It Time to Cut the Umbilical Cord?

Letting go of control and conditional expectations allows your children to flourish and live their potential.
For each of my babies, I was the one who cut their umbilical cords. It was symbolic for me.
"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself...You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow..." Kahlil Gibran
Your children are their people, their own souls are here for a reason, here for a purpose. You, as a parent, are here to love and guide them to find that purpose, to live and be that purpose.
Even though you deeply love them, deeply bond with them, you must cut the umbilical cord.
What exactly do I mean by that?


I mean, letting go. Letting go of your conditional expectations. Letting go of your need to control. Letting go of judgment. Letting go of the outcome of how you "think" they should be.
It can be a dichotomy. Loving and bonding with them on one hand, letting go on the other.
"There are two lasting bequests we can give our children: One is roots. The other is wings." Hodding Carter Jr.
So, how do you do this letting go? It is definitely not the way we have been taught to be with our kids.


Let's take an example.
My new baby. I love her dearly. I am nurturing and bonding with her on many levels. But, when I look into her eyes, I have a "knowing" that she is her own person. We are ONE on one level, but she is also here on Earth to have her own life and be her own person. I respect that.
Don't you wish sometimes that your parents respected who YOU were as a child? That they let you be yourself and honored that? That is what you must do with your own children for them to live their own full potential. (And to do with yourself as well.)


"See" your children as already whole, complete, and perfect beings themselves. "Know" that everything always works out one way or another.
When you set your intentions around your parenting, when you visualize being the parent you want to be, and when you are having fun in the process, letting go is a natural next step. It's so natural, that you may not even know you are doing it.
Trust.
Trust and let go. All is well. All is perfect in your knowing that it all works out for the best.
Enjoy!

Interview With A Newborn
Interview With A Newborn

Ever wondered what life is like inside the womb? Get the full scoop from Baby Crystal as he prepares for the big event. In this groundbreaking interview by Tracey Smith, we are delighted to bring you the story of Baby Crystal, as he prepares for his entrance into the world. Mom Crystal gives us comments on the story too.

TS: So, Baby Crystal, thank you first of all for agreeing to do this I am sure our readers will be hanging on your every word.

BC: You're welcome! Just call me BC. I have sure been called a few strange names since I moved in here - what a neighborhood - as for the interview think nothing of it. I mean, to be honest with you, it gets a bit boring, just swimming about in all this amniotic fluid. Some days, the most fun I have is deciding which organ to kickbox it's tough in here I'm enjoying the break from routine.

TS: Thank you BC! Could you tell us about your earliest memories here?

BC: Well, I have a vague recollection of the cell-split time. I mean there was such a lot going on. One minute, there were 2 of me, then 4 and 8 and before I knew it, I was like this huge blob of blobs. Next thing I know, I got a head that looks like something outta Jurassic Park and I'm doing the breaststroke. I had a lot of development issues at that time too. It was very emotional for me I'm a bit divided over it.

TS: I see. Moving on to your accommodation -what is it like in there?

BC: Ah, this place really is a womb with a view! I love it here, mostly. The heating has been playing up a little lately, but on the whole, it's been nice. I'm running out of room to put my stuff now and I have been rearranging the furniture a little to make the most of the space. To be honest, there's not much I can do. The landlady gets a bit heavy about me shifting stuff especially when I start doing it late at night I think it's a noise issue. Anyway, I'm shipping up and moving on soon. I'll take a fresh look at things then. I got my placenta all packed\; we are ready to roll.

TS: Do you have any favorite foods?

BC: Ohh food now you are talking my language! I love the stuff. I have to say, each day is an adventure. I never know what's coming next. It's like being blindfolded at a Jewish wedding buffet table. I have been sending memos up to the brain with a few room service requirements. Dad makes a great baked potato with peanut butter. Don't think much of that salsa stuff mom had recently and I told her as much too! That heartburn HAD to hurt! She won't be doing that again ˜till after I've moved out. Oh man, you should have heard the racket going off in the tummy! I could barely sleep.

TS: What is your sleeping pattern like?

BC: Well, it all depends. If I'm awake when she is getting the groceries in or whatever, believe me, it's no time for a baby to be awake. I get sick too, so it's better to settle down and go with the flow. I can push up the zzzs at the drop of a hat. I find it easier to get up once she lies still! Have you any idea how hard it is trying to move about when you have all these organs encroaching on your space? Once, I moved up to the lungs for a breather, I just had to put my foot down. Actually, right about their points).

Mom: oh that little one is right under my ribs again. Are you playing blow soccer in there or what?

BC: Hehe, she hates that. Well, it's not my fault I'm getting so big it must be the stuff she's feeding me!

TS: Do you have any recollection of the scans?

BC: Scans, scans? Ah, yeah! That will be the day I felt like I was lying on a photocopier, am I right? It was not too bad 

wasn't noisy or anything, but I felt like a tin of sliced peaches that wouldn't go through at the checkout back and forward, back and forward she was buzzin' me. I just looked out at the light and gesticulated a lot I think they got the message.

TS: When are you moving into your next apartment?

BC: Actually, I had a note from the landlady\; it's pinned up over there on the kidney. Says I gotta be cleared out here by the 10th of the month. I have to be honest with you - I think it's unreasonable! I got rights. I have been here for nearly a year now, surely she can't just kick me out on the streets. I have spoken to my attorney and I think I might be sitting it out for a while. Just until I get fixed up elsewhere. I am going to do a protest march later on her pelvic floor to make my point.

TS: What do you think you will say to the landlady when you finally meet?

BC: Actually, I heard she's got a place way down the dark hallway there, round the corner somewhere. I was thinking, I might just head on over and have a word. But every time I set off, it's like the walls come closing in on me. In fact, that's been happening a lot lately I think this place has a structural problem. The waterworks are going 24/7, there's a constant gushing noise going on 

the bladder is putting in for overtime this month.

I think if I ever met the lady that owns this place, I would sure let her know kicking and screaming the place needs a refit! Some furniture maybe, fresh paint all this red and black - it's too gothic for me.

Maybe it is time to move on

TS: Well, BC it's time for me to thank you sincerely for your comments today. I think our readers will learn a great deal about life on your side of the fence.

BC: No problem - actually, you have helped me to make my mind up. Hey, I'm REALLY gonna surprise her! I'M MOVIN' OUT EARLY 

let's see what she makes of that!

A Preemie Is Born
A Preemie Is Born

Many parents of premature infants fail to acknowledge their pain and grief. Here are some common situations that parents of preemies deal with shortly after the birth of their baby.
I never forget the day, my daughter was born.
The looks on the faces of the doctors and nurses were frightening. There was no cry from the baby, no cheers around the room, just a quick hustle, fast-moving figures in green masks scurrying around.
They never let me hold my baby, never said a word. They whisked her away and ordered my husband to follow them.


See, Samantha was born ۱۶ weeks early at ۱ pound ۱۲ ounces and only ۱۲ inches long. Her skin was thin like a sheet of paper and her eyes were still fused shut. I've never seen such a tiny baby in my life.
When a child is born premature, many parents don't realize that they are going through many fazes of grief. These emotions often go unacknowledged, unrecognized, or swept away because of immediate concern for the child. It's important as a parent that you take the time to acknowledge your feelings and deal with them in order to effectively deal with the challenges that lie ahead as well as be a strong support for your baby.


Here are some of the most common feelings and situations that many parents face shortly after the birth of the baby:


1. Disappointment with childbirth - Often during a woman's pregnancy, she begins to fantasize about the birth experience. When there is an emergency c-section or unusual birth. Your experience may be quite the opposite of your expectations. Allow yourself time to grieve over the loss of that.


2. Pain of going home without your baby - Often there is guilt, fear, disappointment as well as the obvious worry about being discharged without your child. The moment that holds the strongest in my mind is when I was wheeled out of the hospital in the wheelchair holding a plant instead of my baby. There was an overwhelming sadness in that.


3. Dealing with the stages of grief - you may not think so, but grief is a part of dealing with a sick child. Many parents grieve the loss of the ideal that they planned for during the pregnancy. Normal stages of grief include denial, anger, guilt, depression, loneliness, and acceptance.


4. Expecting your partner to have the same reactions as you do. My husband dealt with Samantha's hospitalization with anger and denial. I dealt with it with a combination of extreme sadness to extremely efficient behavior (quite a scary combination, actually). These types of expectations can cause undue stress in an already stressful situation. Allow each other to grieve in your own unique way without judgment. Try to be as supportive of the other's mode of dealing with this issue.


5. Siblings are acting out - if there are older siblings, remember that they are dealing with this too. One way that they may show their confusion and fear is through acting out, getting in trouble, extreme helpfulness, or anger toward the parent or baby. It's important to incorporate the entire family into the healing process. Allow them to be as involved in the baby's life and visitation as much as possible if age-appropriate. Answer their questions honestly and take time off from the hospital to spend with them.


6. Learning to deal with different types of healthcare providers for your child and learning medical terminology in the midst of your emotional state. I became the research queen. I arranged meetings with every single healthcare provider my daughter had and asked them how can I help them, help her. It was very important for me to become a partner with my daughter's healthcare providers. I learned everything that I could about who these people were, what they were doing with her and what could I do if they weren't around. At this stage, it was easier to live in my head than in my heart.


7. Not accepting help from others - I have to say that this is probably the most important advice that I have to share with you today. If someone offers support, help, a shoulder, whatever...take the help. Many push the people who want to help us away in our grief. I felt guilty if I left the hospital or let someone else take a shift with her. My self-care went down to zero, my family life suffered and I suffered. I had no emotional support structure to lean on. For goodness' sake, take the support.
Above all, remember to express your feelings. Whether it is to the hospital social worker, a support group, a friend, or your spouse. Don't be a lone ranger. Your child needs you to be there for him in one piece, physically and mentally.