Advice for new parents

My brother-in-law and his wife are expecting their first baby in the fall. I've been thinking about what to get them for the baby shower. I'm also trying to think of some important words of parenting wisdom to pass along.
A particularly useful gift I received at my baby shower was a bouncy seat. My daughter was not a good sleeper, and I praised the heavens when she'd fall asleep in that seafoam-green bouncy. She had reflux, so having her sleep semi-upright was encouraged. Visitors, however, would cast confused glances at me when they saw her sleeping in the seat in the corner of the room. I knew they were thinking..."new mothers, aren't they a hoot!"
But it was important to me to be seen as a competent mother, so I'd trip all over myself making excuses for the superiority of sleeping in a bouncy seat. "Studies have proven that babies sleep more soundly in the semi-upright position," "The pediatrician highly recommends napping in bouncy seats," and so on.

Meanwhile, to my closest friends, I'd admit to letting her sleep wherever in creation she'd like if it meant she would sleep. The precious little girl has a hankering for her carriage. I'd stay up all night to stroll her around the house. Heck, I was up all night anyway. Adorable, big-eyed daughter of mine wants to sleep in her swing? Well, why not? If I could fit, I'd hop in it with her!
Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't compromise my daughter's health or safety in the name of sleep, but if she refused to sleep in her cradle or crib, I had to get creative. Babies need their sleep, as much as they need sustenance and love.

And as I quickly discovered, parents need their sleep just as much. Nothing prepares for you the interrupted sleep of parenthood. I think the world population would dwindle in a nanosecond if people knew beforehand what havoc tiny little babies wreak on your life, night and day.
Sure, everyone knows someone who has an enviable infant who sleeps through the night right away. But that's hardly the norm. The euphemism, "she sleeps like a baby," is pure propaganda. But most new parents are too exhausted to step up to the plate and demand this truth be revealed to unsuspecting parents-to-be. "If we'd only known," we utter helplessly into thin air.

The funny thing is, in the beginning, being sleep-deprived is actually okay. You're so excited to finally be able to see and hold your baby that feeding and cuddling at all hours of the night is a welcomed event. Who needs sleep when you've finally got your baby in your arms?
The problem is that euphoria doesn't last nearly long enough. Sleep deprivation does catch up with you. You'll find yourself doing cartwheels and backflips to get your baby to sleep. You think, "If the world could only see me now!" as you try to sing, rock, dance and bounce at the same time.
Oh, and those sleep books people recommend and sometimes swear by? If you're lucky, you have a 50-50 chance of success with them. My husband and I went so far as to meet with the author of one particularly popular sleep book, and even he couldn't solve her sleep problems.

If I knew then that we'd still be dealing with sleep issues seven years later, I think I would have thrown in the towel. While it has certainly gotten better over the years, the mere fact that her sleep problems were not solved in three weeks (as promised), three years, or even double that amount of time, makes me realize that I have something pretty important to share with the new parents-to-be in our family:
"Dan and Katie, get some sleep. Before it's too late. Double up if you can. Appreciate the uninterrupted hours in dreamland. Before you know it, your precious little bundle will be here, demanding your attention at all hours of the day and night. Take heart in the knowledge that your intense love for this child will supersede all.

And for goodness sake, if your baby won't sleep in his/her crib, don't hesitate to use the bouncy seat. The baby will sleep, you can sleep, and before you know it, these sleepless days and nights will pass."
Okay, so it might take seven years, but there's no sense frightening them with that kind of information. I'll just gift-wrap the bouncy and hand it over with a smile.