Dorothy and the Land of Infertility

Dorothy learns from her journey to Oz some helpful ideas for women trying to conceive
When the Dorothy of our childhood went to sleep that fateful night, she felt comfortable and safe in her rather ordinary life in Kansas. She awoke to find that an unanticipated cyclone had cast her into the Land of Oz. She no longer was in familiar surroundings and none of the people she relied on were there to help and support her. Only Toto, her little puppy, was with her.
She was in a very unusual land where unexpected things were said to her and unforeseen things happened every minute. Life was no longer like that of anyone else she knew.

Dorothy heard that a wizard could help her but to get to him she would have to complete an arduous journey. As she followed the yellow brick road to Oz, she met new friends who weren't at all like the people she had known and counted on before when she was in Kansas.

I believe that the Land of Infertility is quite like the Land of Oz. Those who find themselves there do not expect to. Often the process of defining oneself as struggling to conceive feels as if one has been picked up out of familiar territory and cast by a fierce storm into uncharted lands. The arrival is jolting and suddenly you receive so much information and so many different suggestions for approaching the problem.

You question everything:
How can you find the yellow brick road? Can you trust the Wizard? What dangers are in the journey? How can you move forward in the face of obstacles? Can you ever get back to Kansas?
In her process, Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz has much to offer those in the Land of Infertility. Let's look at how she made it through her journey and what gave her the strength to get back to Kansas in the end.

Dorothy stayed open to new possibilities

Every action Dorothy took from her first arrival in Oz required her willingness to think outside of her previous experience. To survive and make her journey, she had to be open to new ways of doing things, new ways to get where she was going, and new ideas about how to make progress.
She had to be creative in her approach and open in her thinking. She was challenged to stay aware of her surroundings and to take advantage of her opportunities.

Dorothy had a support group

Dorothy did not make her journey alone. She was accompanied by the Scarecrow, the Tin Woodman, the Cowardly Lion and Toto, her dog. Each member of her support group had different needs and each took a slightly different course in their journey to see the Wizard. However, they all wanted to get to the end of the Yellow Brick road and were able to help each other in the process of their travels.
As in most support groups, on some days one would be stronger and more resourceful than others. For example, at one point, Dorothy fell asleep in the poppy field and was in danger of losing her will to go on, but her friends picked her up and carried her until she could go under her own power.

Dorothy learned how to take risks from good models

When the group arrived at the Emerald City, the Wizard of Oz told them that they would have to tackle a very difficult task before he could help each of them. They had to get rid of the Wicked Witch of the West. Dorothy's friends each took incredible risks as they went into the land of the Wicked Witch of the West.

Dorothy gained strength and wisdom from the group experiences. Although she became quite discouraged, she still took risks herself. In one of her biggest risks, she threw a pail of water onto the Wicked Witch of the West and found that the Wicked Witch simply melted away.

Dorothy had several coaches

Her first coach was an older wise woman, the Good Witch of the North, who started her on her journey and gave her the guidance that led her to the Yellow Brick Road. Several others coached her on her way toward her goal of getting back to Kansas. Finally, Dorothy found a coach who could work with her to get through the end of her journey. This coach was Glinda, the Good Witch of the South.
Glinda worked with Dorothy to encourage her to see her own strengths. She and the Scarecrow, Tin Woodman, and Cowardly Lion all reminded Dorothy of how she had moved through many challenges on the journey to the Emerald City. Dorothy began to value all of her own gifts and use them to get back to Kansas.

Dorothy used her own resources to get back to Kansas

Although Dorothy thought she needed lots of help, in fact, she herself had the resources needed to get her back to Kansas. Sometimes Dorothy would have a gift with her for quite some time before she realized its value in her journey to get what she wanted. Among these gifts were the magic cap from the Witch of the West and the magic shoes from the Witch of the East. Each gift she wore for a long time before she understood how to use it. Interestingly each of those gifts came from something/someone seen as "bad" in the story.

In the end, Dorothy said goodbye to her friends, clicked her heels together and returned to Kansas on her own power.
In the struggle to get a baby in your lives, Dorothy's journey offers a role model as a gift to those in the Land of Infertility:

1. Stay open to possibilities Your journey is unique and may include doing and trying some things that you would never imagine that you would do. Thinking outside the box is helpful in figuring out the steps to take. Being open to new possibilities may offer some new approaches to your challenge.

2. Get involved in a support group Don't do this alone. It's much easier when you can talk about it with others. There are chat groups on the Web. I offer frequent free and for-pay groups by telephone. RESOLVE offers support groups in many areas. PCOS support groups exist in many places as well.

3. Learn from others Read everything you can to get fully informed. Ask questions of others who have similar situations. Determine what helps others to take risks and try to model after them.

4. Work with a coach Sorting through your decision-making process, your stress management, and your communication goals with a coach can make the infertility journey much easier. Having another perspective always helps and sharing and putting your frustration into words with another person can result in better plans and decision making.

5. Value your own resources and determine their roles in your decision-making. For example: If you have a wonderful partner, work together to make this process less painful. If your insurance will cover some of your treatment, decide how to take the best advantage of this opportunity. If your strength is to take a positive approach, look at how to make this work to support you.