Become a Better Parent by Taking Better Care of Yourself

By taking better care of yourself, you'll be less stressed, happier and therefore a better parent.

One of the most common reasons people hire Personal Coaches is to help them improve their relationships at home. Sometimes the focus is on the relationship between the parents and other times the focus is on the parent/child relationships. Regardless of which exact home relationship is involved, many times things begin to improve once my clients start investing the time and effort to take better care of themselves.

You will soon break the bow if you keep it always stretchedâ. ~Phaedrus~

Phaedrus spoke these words hundreds of years ago, but somehow this quotation is more relevant today than at any other time in history. Most of the issues we experience with relationships today can be greatly improved or even eliminated if we become less hurried and less stressed. Few of us have chosen the fast-paced, constantly on-the-go lifestyles that we live and most of us feel helpless in making major lifestyle changes to help us to slow down. While I would argue that major changes are possible in most people's lives, that's not what this article is about. Finding several pockets of time during the day when we can do something for ourselves; something we really want to do. That's what this article is about.

Now, exactly where do we find this time given today's demanding schedules? That's the challenge and there are two areas to look. First, try finding two or three 5 to 10-minute segments of time each day that you could put to better use. These tend to be transition periods like coffee breaks, lunch breaks, commuting time, etc. Once you've identified these opportunities, think of something you could do during those times that would really make a positive change in your mood and attitude. A brief list of possibilities might include: listening to some relaxing music, reading some inspiring quotations, meditating, etc. Try to make these short breaks an oasis of tranquility and relaxation in your hurried day.

The second thing you'd like to do is to find a few 15 to 30-minute long periods during the week when you can do something more significant for yourself. Finding this larger chunk of time can be more difficult and may need to be created by asking for help. Now there's a new concept, actually asking for help. What would happen if your spouse/friend or neighbor helped with the kids a couple of times a week for an hour each time? You of course would reciprocate for them. Does this create a win-win scenario for both of you? My wife and I have found that it does. Getting that 1-hour break once or twice a week so we can do something for ourselves makes a huge improvement in our quality of life. Having this little extra time to do something we want to do is truly invigorating.

Most of this article has talked about finding time to do something for ourselves each day and each week. How does that help us to improve our relationships at home? I'll answer that question with another question. We all know someone who seems to always be in a bad mood and is always complaining. We also likely know another person who tends to be happy, cheerful and in a good mood nearly all the time. Who would you most like to be around for a whole day, the grumpy person or the cheerful person? By taking time to do something we really want to do for ourselves every day and every week, we'll be less of a grumpy person and more of a cheerful person. We'll be someone our families will enjoy being around more. That's how you become a better spouse and parent by taking better care of yourself.